Zombies and Shotguns
Zombies and Shotguns is the 11th episode of (pat)Rick Figures. Transcript (Exterior shot of Barg'nMart.) Auto-Tuned Seabee: Season two, mothafucka! Ow! (Inside, Patrick loads a shotgun.) SpongeBob: Seriously, dude, you don't need a shotgun. Patrick: Are you kidding?! I've been trying to get this bag of chips open for like a week! This bag was made by SATAN! (Patrick fires a bullet at the bag, but the bullet is deflected.) Patrick: See? See?! (groans) I just want some chips. (Groaning sounds are heard) SpongeBob: What the--''(Zombies are trying to get inside through the door)'' Zombies! (They break open the door and enter.) Oh, damn! (Red fires a bullet the bag of chips again but the bullet is deflected and it kills one of the zombies.) Patrick: Touché, bag. SpongeBob: Come on, dude! (He takes the bag of chips. He and Red run away. Zombies are trying to get them) Huh? (Zombies are all around the mall and make"Straw Bos", while Red and Blue are seeying them on the second floor. Lord Tourettes then suddenly appears, while zombies are follow him.)' '''Lord Puff-rettes': Oh, oh, no! (trips and falls onto the floor, smiling) I'm so FUCKED! ''(The zombies surround him)'' SpongeBob: Quick! These dudes would eat your chips! Patrick: Oh, fuck that! (Loads shotgun) You dead! (Kills a zombie) Who dead? (Kills another zombie) You dead! (Kills another zombie) SpongeBob: (points to something) BOOMER! (Patrick sees the Fat Ugly Girl as a boomer. He shoots her and a big cloud of gas appears.) Patrick: Gross. (A zombie screams off-screen.) Run this way! (They flee into "License to Drill".) SpongeBob: (throws the bag of chips while trying to block the door) Get a chainsaw! Patrick: (throws away the shotgun) Good idea! (Uses a chainsaw to try to open the bag.) Whooooo! SpongeBob: No, for the zombies, you retard! Patrick: Zombies? (Flings the chainsaw backward, killing a zombie, and flings it forward, killing another, not noticing.) What zombies? SpongeBob: (grabs a shotgun) Fuck (shoots a zombie) you! (Shoots another) (Patrick lets a zombie bite the bag and pulls the bag to see if it will open, but the zombie's head comes off) Patrick: Damn it. SpongeBob: (Shoots another zombie) Brainshot! (Cries out) (Patrick tries to chainsaw the bag again) Plankton: Hey, bros, bros, this is like, crazy, right? (Patrick glares at him and kills him by cutting him with his chainsaw. Plankton screams and then dies.) SpongeBob: Uh, I don't think that guy was a zombie... Patrick: I know. THE PERFECT MURDER. (They run out of the store) SpongeBob: Oh, my God! (A bunch of zombies, including Lord Tourettes, are crowded around Cinnamunch.) That must be where the outbreak started. Those Cinnamon swirls are irresistable! (Red and Blue look at SpongeBob's dad, 'who is eating one of the cinnamon swirls.) SpongeBob's dad: Eh, I haven't had any yet. (Patrick activates chainsaw and SpongeBob loads shotgun and presumably kill him off-screen.) (Time lapse. SpongeBob and Patrick run away from zombies) Many zombies: Brains! Other few zombie: Brian! SpongeBob: Ah, dead end! Patrick: Good one. (The zombies draw closer) Patrick: (trying to open the bag) I wish I had fingers. (Blue sees a highly flammable perfume, then he aims and shoots it while Red is still trying to open the bag. The fire from the perfume kills the zombies.) SpongeBon: (Fuck yea/Close Enough face) Fuck yeah. (The sprinklers turn on and extinguishes the fire... and the zombies come back to life) Patrick: (finally opens the bag) Oh, sick! SpongeBob: Oh, fu-- Soundtrack Dramatic Cue (d) ''- Title card. ''SpongeBob Closing Theme Song - The store music. Category:Episodes Category:Episode Transcripts Category:2018 Category:Transcripts